Shattered Friendship
by Naouma Koi
Summary: Hanging upside-down from James' jinx, Severus calls Lily a mudblood.  What will happen to their friendship now?


_**Why is it that nearly all Sev/Lily fics are sad? Seriously, I don't read very many anymore, but the ones I write and the ones I've read recently seem to have that broken trust feel to them.**_

_**Regardless, enjoy.**_

_**-Speira**_

_"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"_

The words echoed through the air around everyone like there was nothing to stop it, but all I could do was stare at Severus, open-mouthed. "Fine. I won't bother in future, _Snivelly._" I retort before arguing with Potter a little more and turning around to head right back up to the castle.

He called me a mudblood, the very worst thing you could call a muggle-born like me. I feel the tears come to my eyes, but I don't let them spill over, returning to my dormitory instead ofwandering the halls or enjoying the free time I now had since exams were over.

What on earth had Severus been doing lately anyway? There were the curses he'd been using against Potter and Black… And the people he'd been hanging around lately were just… Ugh! I don't even know!

_He's certainly not the same caring Severus I first met._

This much was certain, and I was absolutely positive that I didn't like what he was turning into.

He was much smarter than he was acting recently, and I don't know how to fix him… Or even if I want to after today.

_I never imagined he _could_ use such a word with me…_

Severus and I have always got on quite well. He was the one to explain to me what was going on when I was a kid and my magic got out of hand for the first time. I had admired him for a while then, and ended up becoming quite good friends with him.

Sighing heavily, I close my eyes, intending just to rest them for a while.

The next thing I know, I'm being shaken awake my one of my roommates. "Lily! Severus is outside the portrait hole… He says he wants to apologise to you, but he won't tell me what for."

"What? Oh…" I don't even respond, getting up and rushing out before I even really realise what I'm doing.

"Lily! Thank God you came! I'm so so so sorry!" Severus says almost as soon as he sees me exit the Gryffindor common room.

"… Why would you say something like that, Sev!" I ask, still really hurt by it.

"I… I don't know what was going through my head, but please, I'll beg if I have to, will you forgive me?"

"No, no… That's not what I mean. Of course I'll forgive you, but what's gotten into you lately? You haven't been the same you…"

"What do you mean?"

"That curse today… The people you hang out with recently… None of it's like the Severus I grew up with, and I don't like where it seems to be leading you, Sev. I want _my _Sev back."

"I… What do you mean? I haven't been all that different…" Clearly he's avoiding the subject and I wish he wouldn't. It only makes me angry.

"Sev, you'll explain yourself, or I'll revoke my forgiveness." I say, resorting to the only thing I have right now.

"I've just… I don't know, okay?"

"No."

"Lily… Please believe me…"

"No, Sev. The deal is, you explain, I'll forgive. End of story."

"I… I can't."

"Then I guess that's it."

"What do you mean?"

"Severus, that curse you used on James was far worse than anything he's ever done to you. You expect me to believe that was just a one time thing when I've seen you use it loads lately? Well, do you?"

"Lily… I promise I'll never hurt you, but you really need to trust me when I say that I can't tell you…" If this wasn't such a serious matter, I would be willing to forgive him and forget about the entire incident just because of the desperate look on his face right now.

This was a serious matter though, as he actually injured another student.

"Absolutely not, Severus. Get out of here. I'll forgive you when you feel like talking to me again, but don't you dare ask for me again until you've grown up!" With that, I whip around, my hair flying around behind me, and return to the safety of the Gryffindor common room.

_It's over. We can't go back now. Come on, Lily, be strong. You can do this._

That was the last time I saw Severus that year, and a part of me was very sad. Another part of me knew that it had been coming to that for a while.

And if he'd ever come to me and told me what was going on, I would have accepted him again.

He never did.


End file.
